Lessons from TjMaxx

Storrrrry time!

I was in the line at TjMaxx buying a dress for my mother’s wedding and there was an older woman in front of me. You know when you can tell someone wants to say something to you, but isn’t sure? Well, she turned around and complimented my jacket. Which by the way was my first time wearing the jacket out.

She was a well-dressed older white woman in a cute pink tee, some jeans and sneakers. A very casual cute look! The shirt could’ve been designer, she looked great. I complimented her look and it opened a can of worms.

She went on to tell me how she’s been gaining weight and she was wearing the shirt oversized to hide her muffin top. Something that I honestly feel about my own body. She goes on and on and tells me how she just wants to feel good about herself as she’s now in her 50’s. Her husband has been asking about why she’s spent so much money on clothes recently and it’s because she wants to feelgood about herself.

I let out a slight chuckle and said, “It’s so interesting how we share what no one notices.”

Not to slight her, but because I truly would have never known! I reassured that she has nothing to worry about, and that she looks great. She smiled and said thank you. It was her turn next at the counter and she started up a new conversation with the cashier as I waited in line for my turn.

And I thought, why do we introduce our insecurities?

We focus on things that no one ever notices or cares about.

I hope she’s well and she finds a healthy way to feel good in her body.

It was my turn to checkout and another older woman, this time a sistah, was behind the register. She made a quick move getting up and was dizzy, out of breath. “Chile being in your 50’s will knock the wind out of you.” I was like, “Ma’am both you and the woman in line with me was talking negatively about being in ya’lls 50’s and ya’ll both need to stop.”

Like girl, there’s no line behind me and I am in no rush, so please, take your time.

I finished my transaction and I made it back to my car.

There are so many directions I can take it, so here is me relaying my thoughts.

My first one being, why do we introduce our insecurities so openly? It’s like we have to affirm to ourselves that other people can see it too. “That other people see what’s wrong with me, so it must be true.”

The second thought was, was I projecting? Because I felt like that about my own body! I keep holding on to images of me in my 20s, thirty pounds lighter, out of shame. Trying to get back to a version of myself that isn’t there.

There’s a reel going around on Instagram (maybe you’ve seen it) where a woman is interviewing men and women and asking, “When was the first time someone made a comment about their bodies?” All of the men answered basically never, and women’s answers were as young as 10-12 years old. A lot of the women could also remember that moment in detail.

Generations worth of trauma trying to fit in a superficial mold or standard and not being able to love our bodies as is. It’s like we get too attached to our youth and try to chase it when growing older is so beautiful. It’s also such a privilege these days.

About the second woman, why do we always move so fast? Who’s time schedule are we on? Do we ever notice how fast we brush our teeth or how fast we wash our hair? We’re speeding thru tasks to get to the next thing.

When were we programmed to live in fight or flight?

As I age, I’m understanding the importance of self-acceptance and intentional movement. Feeling good about yourself, starts from the inside out. Not shaming ourselves into an image we no longer fit.

As we shift into the mindset of loving ourselves into health we can truly benefit from so much more the world has to offer. I want to be able to walk the distance as I explore the world. I want to be able to get up and not be out of breath.

Good health and feeling good in our skin should be the only priorities, not for any public opinion. And it starts with us. Daily habits of self-love. It’s a blessing to be alive, especially when the news is filled with so much death. Sidebar, I think that’s another reason I quit my job.

Yeah, I did.

My cozy 6 figure sales job.

That brought on such misery. Misery I tried to put aside for money. I sold life insurance. I sold for three years.

I was the best at it too. It was never enough though. I continued a cycle of capitalism, upgrading everything around me to motivate me to work harder. For what? Recruiting purposes? “Here come join me on the golden hamster wheel instead of your plain one.”

Any who, I did not want to continue selling the gloom of the world to receive a paycheck. I do believe in life insurance! Funerals are expensive. However, the pain points being selling tactics, “the way to close the deal”, and the sense of urgency to buy today, no longer sit well in my spirit. I’m sure there’s a sales rep right now countering everything I just said.

Money isn’t everything. Especially at the sacrifice of your integrity and character.

That was one hell of a side bar, but I digress.

We need to prioritize ourselves in all aspects, we’re deserving and worthy of it.

Lessons from TjMaxx.

Period.

Love,

Jorden